HARLEM’S FINEST
Written by Kwyn Bader
FOX SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES
SPIRIT DANCE PRODUCTIONS
2003 - 2004
Loosely adapted from a play by a different title, HARLEM'S FINEST is a Big Chill/Grown Ups-like story of four middle-aged friends from Harlem who reunite for a weekend in the country. While developing another picture at Searchlight as a director, Kwyn was hired on assignment to transform the broad and unstructured material into a touching film comedy, with Oscar winning actor Forest Whitaker and Jumping the Broom writer Arlene Gibbs as his supervising producers, as a potential starring vehicle for Mr. Whitaker.
...In the following scene, the friends break bread with their wives and tell the origin story of their life long friendship.
INT. ALEX'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Food is served. Everyone digs in. Nobody talks. Alex seated next to Lester, focuses on his wristwatch.
ALEX:
Nice clock, Les.
LESTER:
The Samsung GPRS Watchphone. It’sTHE watch to have.
SAL:
It’s no Timex.
KIRK:
Does that Watchphone take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’?
ALEX:
I think not.
They start to laugh.
YASMIN:
What? What is so funny?
LESTER:
Who wants to tell the story? (before they have a chance) Alright, it was my sixteenth birthday-and my dad gives me money to buy this gold plated Timex watch that I had to have.
ALEX:
It wasn’t gold - but it had that gold look.
KIRK:
And it had this button that you pressed and it lit up at night.
ALEX:
Indiglo.
LESTER:
So Kirk comes with me down to EJ Korvettes on 34th Street to buy it. And when we come out of the store, there, buying Italian ice from a cart guy-
KIRK:
Are Regina Haynes and Zora Jones-
SAL:
Who still asks about you, Lester.
LESTER:
Who had never before given us the “time” of day. The new watch was an angle to be worked.
ALEX:
You got to understand - this was the watch that was on t.v. commercials every day - it was hot stuff.
LESTER:
And the girls were impressed by it and then I said that looking at the watch let me know it was “time” for us to be together.
DIANE:
That’s just weak.
LESTER:
Weak worked.
KIRK:
They wanted us to take them home...to the St. Nick projects.
SAL:
That was the home base of Mike Lagrant and the Forty Thieves. And these were some stab you, shoot you, burn you type brothers.
KIRK:
And sure enough they saw us - the Striver’s Row living prep school boys - kissing the girls goodbye...
LESTER:
And they slapped the shit out of us and took my watch.
SAL:
Which was getting off easy.
ALEX:
And they show up where we’re playing basketball, crying.
LESTER:
Nobody was crying.
SAL:
Kirk was crying a river.
LESTER:
And we go to my house and before I can even tell him what happened, my dad asks me where my watch is and when I tell him...he says either you go back out there or you stay here and deal with me.
SAL:
Cause he said he wasn’t raising any ladies in his house.
LESTER:
Yeah, I was thinking about running away from home, remember-
SAL:
But then Julius said “Let’s go get your fucking watch.” Right...
KIRK:
Something like that.
ALEX:
So Harlem’s finest go strolling up into St. Nick’s.
SAL:
And Lester, strolls up to Lagrant trying to be tough and says-
LESTER:
My father told me to come back and get my watch.
They all start laughing.
FRIEDA:
Did you get it back?
They laugh harder.
ALEX:
We got our asses kicked.